National Infertility Awareness Week

Today is the last day of National Infertility Awareness Week. It always surprises me how many couples experience infertility (the stats are 1 out of every 7 couples). My heart goes out to every single one of those couples. Infertility really sucks. Thankfully, Jared and I have a great support group. Without our family and friends giving us the emotional support we need, I'm not sure how we would handle it. So, thank you.

The video posted is about the book Infertility: Hope, Help, and Healing by Kerstin Daynes. I actually just ordered the book and I am excited to read it. Even though most days I have completely accepted the fact that its going to take longer for Jared and I to have a family, some days are really hard. I once read Barbara Eck Menning's thoughts on infertility. This is what she said,"My infertility resides in my heart as an old friend. I do not hear from it for weeks at a time, and then, a moment, a thought, a baby announcement or some such thing, and I will feel the tug-maybe even be sad or shed a few tears. And I think, "There's my old friend." It will always be part of me..." This is exactly the way it is for me. The pangs of infertility never completely go away, but I don't let it consume me and make my life miserable.

In honor of infertility awareness week, I wanted to dispel some common myths about infertility. And actually, I have personal experiences of people saying these things to me. So for future reference, (and I am not saying that any of you ever would say these things) never say these things to couples trying to conceive.

1. "Just relax, and you will get pregnant." Although there is some truth to this (Yes, its important to reduce your stress levels for optimal chances), but don't think that "relaxing" is a cure-all for getting pregnant.

2. "You're still young." This one annoys me to no end. It doesn't matter how "young" I am, I still can't get pregnant. I wanted to punch my Dr. in Fort Worth who implied this.

3. "Adoption is a cure for infertility," and "Once you adopt you'll get pregnant." First of all, adoption and infertility are 2 separate matters. Like I mentioned before, the pains of infertility will never completely go away. Adoption can help you find great joy and happiness in having a family and being a parent. But it will not cure infertility. Secondly, although I have heard lots of stories of people getting pregnant after they adopt, or as soon as they fill out the application papers, this is not the standard. Although I probably secretly wish this would happen, I'm not getting my hopes up. And it is NOT the reason we are adopting.

4. This next one isn't a myth. Its a question that people ask me all the time. When we were first struggling with infertility it really bothered me. I am used to it now so its not that big of a deal and I understand people don't intend for it to be hurtful. "When are you planning on having children?" Most of the time I just wanted to say (and sometimes I actually have said this out of frustration): "I don't know but when you find out, how about you tell me?" It is a perfectly legitimate question if we are well acquainted. But it is very irritating when I just meet someone and that's one of the first questions they ask me. What a loaded question. This seemed to be a daily occurrence for me when we were living in Utah. I don't know if it is a Utah thing or what but it seemed like I couldn't have one conversation without someone asking me that.

Ok, I probably have said enough. I know sometimes its impossible to tip-toe around everyone's feelings but try and be sensitive to those around you. You never know who might be struggling to conceive.

Just the Same

Just the Same
By Diana Lynn Lacey

Sometimes-
God sends rain
Straight from the sky
To nourish the young flower
and it grows.

Sometimes-
God sends rain from the sky
To the mountaintops,
Then over hills and through valleys
Until it reaches the flower,
and it grows just the same.

Sometimes-
God sends a child
Straight from His realm
Into a mother's arms
and love grows.

Sometimes-
God sends a child
From heaven to another's arms,
Then over hills and through valleys
Until he reaches the arms of his mother
and love grows, just the same.

-Ensign, April 2011, p.30

The Latest

Here are some random thoughts running through my head right now as I'm waiting for Jared to come home from work. He's been at the hospital for 15 hours already today and he said he'll have to be there a couple more hours. Poor guy. But at least he'll be getting lots of overtime this week!

My 2 new favorite things:

1. Kickboxing! There is a great class here a couple nights a week. The workout consists of 30 minutes of cardio kickboxing, 10 minutes of hula dancing (the instructor grew up in the Philippines and can really do the hula! Great for the abs and legs), 10 minutes of yoga to work on balance and flexibility, plus 5 minutes each for warm up and cool down. Its a lot of fun!

2. A girl needs a new pair of shoes to wear to kickboxing right? Jared picked out these Nike Dual Fusions for me. I'm only telling you I got them because they are the most comfortable pair of kicks I've ever worn. I really needed a new pair but I have a hard time finding some that fit just right. I highly recommend them-they are super light and not that expensive! Thanks Jare!

Let's see what else has been going on? I guess I never posted about branding earlier this month. I didn't take any pictures. Bummer. Here's two I stole from Rachel's blog. It was Jared's first time branding since we've been married. That's because we've been in school the last 4 years and it was impossible to come home during this time of year because BYU doesn't have a Spring break. I think he had a good time. He was naturally good at giving the shots of course and he branded quite a few at the end.

I'm really liking my job as the emergency preparedness contractor at the health department. It is so nice to actually be working in my field. The best part is that I get to do a lot of the work from home. Lately I've been preparing for a community health expo that is coming up at the end of the month. Hopefully people show up.

Tuesday the 19th is our home study for the adoption process. We had to wait 6 weeks for this appointment because the lone Montana adoption caseworker for LDS Family Services is super busy. Needless to say I am very anxious and I hope everything goes ok. We have everything completed for the online profile, we are just waiting for it to be approved. I just have to remember to be patient. Ha.

Heaven on Cornbread

This is a super easy meal to make! The cornbread is so sweet it's like eating cake :) These recipes are from the chef extraordinaire, my sister Jackie.

Cornbread
Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
Cream together the following:
1 1/4 cup sugar
2 eggs
1 cup cornmeal
1 tsp. salt
2/3 cup butter
Add:
2 cups flour
2 1/4 tsp baking powder
1 1/2 cup milk
Mix well and pour into a greased 9x11 and bake for 30 minutes.

The "Heaven":
In a crockpot place:
2-3 chicken breasts
1 can corn or frozen corn
1 can of black beans (be sure to rinse beans before to reduce the sodium content of the meal)
About 8 oz of salsa
Cook on low for 3-5 hours. If its looking a little dry add some water, and if you want it spicier, a dash of cayenne pepper does the trick. Shred chicken before serving. To eat, dump the "heaven" on top of a piece of cornbread. That's it!

My Silhouette

So this is my new toy. The Silhouette cutting machine. It's like a Cricut but even better because you don't have to buy cartridges. You can just use any font from your computer and it comes with a design software so you can customize any design. It can cut a wide variety of paper, fabric interfacing, vinyl, draw designs with pens, and do glass etching with vinyl. I  just have too much fun with it! Lately I've been using it for scrap booking but here are two vinyl projects I've done:

Our Decision to Adopt

First of all let me thank you all for your input on our pictures. I have put most of them in our photo album on our profile. Our profile is all complete except for the introductory letter to the birth parents. I am really struggling trying to decide what to write. I think we will keep it short and sincere, since they probably view hundreds of profiles at a time. I am hoping everything will be completely approved and ready to go by May. The whole process takes awhile but we can be patient. What's a few more months when we've already waited over three years for a baby, right? :)

So here's the story...its a very personal, spiritual experience for me so I will just put the gist of it down here. And its probably best that I am typing this because if I try to talk about it I just cry because of the overwhelming confirmation of the Spirit that its the right thing to do. We know that there is a special little spirit that is meant to be in our family. We had been thinking about adoption for several months, especially after some very heartbreaking, unsuccessful infertility procedures. And finally on Valentine's Day of this year we both felt very strongly to call LDS Family Services. We called that minute and set up an appointment to meet with a counselor. I was very nervous about the whole thing but after talking for one minute with our counselor I was overwhelmed once again and the flood gates opened! I am such a cry baby when I feel the Spirit! We both knew it was right for us so we immediately completed the first stack of application papers. Pretty much all we have left is the home study where a counselor comes and checks out our home and interviews us individually. That will happen in April. So after we are "approved" the process will go something like this (from my understanding):

• Birth parents will be able to view our profile online. If they are interested they will contact LDS Family Services and might request to meet with us.
• Once we are "picked" (which could take a couple of months to a couple of years) we will discuss with the birth mom what kind of communication she would like to have with us and the baby, which can be flexible and change over time
• Then when the baby is born the birth mom usually likes to have the adoptive parents there at the hospital to be able to immediately hold the baby. How cool is that??
• The birth parents will then sign the release forms (usually about 48 hrs after the birth) and we get to take the baby home with us and it will be ours! 
• Then six months later the adoption will be finalized in court (if we have been found worthy parents through multiple home visits). 
• After that the most important reason for adopting will occur: our baby will be sealed to us for eternity in the temple! Yay!

So I probably over-simplified the whole thing because I know it is going to be a difficult process for all parties involved. But, I'm a little bit in the euphoric stage of things at the possibility of being a mom. I have complete faith that Heavenly Father is in control and He loves us and guides us and has a plan for us. I know that Jared and I will be parents someday. We have always known this, even through the ups and downs of infertility.

Adoption is a miracle. We are so very excited to have this opportunity. We have complete respect and admiration for the mothers who lovingly decide to place their babies for adoption. Such a courageous and selfless act to give their baby to a family to be sealed together forever.

Be sure to check out the article and poem in this month's ensign on faith and infertility and adoption. I really enjoyed it. Also here is the link to LDS Family Services: www.itsaboutlove.org

Family Pictures-I need feedback!

Ok. I need your opinion. We had a friend take some pictures of us this last weekend. I need to know which picture you like best of us. And what are these pictures for?? A lot of you already know this but in case you haven't heard...Jared and I are hoping to adopt! We are so excited! We've been working on the application and legal stuff for a little over a month now. We are getting really close to having everything completed. Right now we are working on our online profile for birth parents to look at. So I'm trying to decide which picture should be our main photo. I'm a little bit anxious about this picture because it will be the first thing they see about us. Let me know what you think-I'd really appreciate it!

I will post more later about our decision to adopt and how everything is going.

These are the six we like the best:

I think this one is my favorite.